Sanctum (2011)

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By: Henry J. Fromage (5 Beers)

There’s a reason why non-filmmakers shouldn’t make films. Now, before you string me up the pretension tree hear me out. It takes somebody with vision coupled with technique to make a good film. If you only have one part of that equation, you’re asking for trouble.

The directors of Sanctum, like the directors of recent misfire Skyline, are special effects people at heart, having helped James Cameron develop the 3D cameras he later used in Avatar.

A Toast

This is good in that the visuals are excellent. The 3D is about as satisfying as anything since Avatar. This isn’t entirely a complement, as it still falls short of convincing me that 3D needs to exist. Still, I’ve got to admit, the opening visuals of a helicopter ride through New Guinean jungle to the cave where the rest of the movie takes place is pretty sweet.

Although, once you get in the cave, the 3D is a mite bit unnecessary

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The reason why the directors should stick with special effects lies in literally every other aspect of the film. From the very first line, the dialogue is just terrible. If this wasn’t written by the guy who did SyFy’s Megashark vs. Giant Octopus, he’s obviously a direct influence.

Although the man does have an undeniable flair for storytelling

The plot is also highly predictable. I can verify this, because I predicted every single death in order, 15 minutes into the movie. You can do this, too.

Hint: If they’re not Caucasian, don’t get attached.

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The main character of the film is Josh, the young, Bieberesque son of the world-famous cavediver who fronts the expedition, Frank. Josh’s part was probably written as a daughter originally, judging by all the menstruation and feminine flair that permeates his performance.

He’s got obvious issues with his dad, which get exacerbated when they’re trapped in the mother of all caves. As it begins to fill with water, and people start to die, everyone gangs up on Frank, even though he’s always right. Basically, when he tells you not to do something, don’t do it.

Ah, screw it. Go ahead and see what happens

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Outside of Frank, it’s hard to empathize with any of the characters. This is what kills the movie in the end. A chunky brew of bad acting and terrible writing makes you root for their deaths, which the is opposite of the empathy you need to make movies like this work.

This is forgivable in the case of the majority of the no-name cast, but not at all so for Ioan Gruffud. He’s most recognizable as Mr. Fantastic in The Fantastic Four, but he had gotten a lot of accolades for his previous acting in A & E’s epic Horatio Hornblower series and 2006’s Amazing Grace.

He’s supposed to be some sort of millionaire thrill-seeker/witty comic relief, but all he really accomplishes is being unbearably grating. He’s terrible in a way that he must have actively strived for.

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It seems like we might be piling on this one too much, but a final beer must go to the “based on a true story” label. While one of the writers did get trapped in a cave while diving, the rest of the script depicted what actually happened like The Patriot depicts the Revolutionary War.

Accurately?

Verdict

If you watch it, make sure it’s in the theaters. Once this hits DVD, there is no godly reason.

Inside Job (2010)

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By: Oberst von Berauscht (A Toast)

Arguing that financial deregulation allowed for increasing corruptive practices, and eventually brought about the current financial crisis, this documentary’s purpose is to serve as a rallying cry for financial reform. Renegade filmmaker Charles Ferguson is frustrated, outraged, researched and ready for action.

You don’t fuck with a Renegade

A Toast

Inside Job is a documentary that effectively summarizes the state of the U.S. Economy and identifies the cause of the biggest financial crisis since the great depression. And while filmmaker Ferguson certainly wears his biases on his sleeve, it is very difficult to disagree with his well-argued points. The biggest change that occurred in our economy over the last 30 years is a culture with the mindset that regulation is the antithesis of capitalism.

The film further argues that the assumptions those in favor of deregulation make is that financial institutions will govern themselves through self-interest, maintaining stability through fear of instability. Ferguson makes his interview subjects eat their words, pointing out bad decisions, contradictions, and outright falsehoods quicker than they can recover.

Ferguson isn’t satisfied with simply pointing out the poor or even criminal decisions of the financial industry. He makes the further argument that the current status of the financial industry rewards sociopaths, people willing to bet against the same stocks they recommend to investors. These same people probably spend their off hours entertaining fellow executives or prospective business partners with sex parties and drugs.

They’ve also been a fan of Genesis ever since “Duke” came out in 1980

The final, most frightening argument made in the film is that business schools in colleges nationwide, but particularly in the Ivy League, are being brainwashed into a whole new way of treating economics by taking kickbacks either through school donations, or more directly, to professors who often serve on boards of directors.

This he says, is causing students to be taught business principals that have no benefit to society, and serve only to help the wealthy and opportune help themselves. All these themes are handled with care and organized like an investigative report. And the calm, determined voice of narrator Matt Damon sees the viewer through it all.

In the end, this feels less like an expose of the causes of the crisis, and more like a heist film where the bad guys get away with it all. It leaves the viewer shocked and angered. Only time will tell if this film will succeed in rallying the masses. I’m a cynical bastard though, and my prediction is that the revolution will never come, and nobody will be lined against the wall, no matter how deserving.

Just saying, he’s got to go...

Verdict

This film is essential viewing, and every person interested in or affected by the financial crisis should see this movie.

In other words, everybody should see it.

Trailer Reviews, Week 3

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Sanctum

Okay, so writing these Thursday night, or rather reading Rotten Tomatoes on Thursday before writing these reviews on Thursday night, might not be the best idea.

Rotten tomatoes just ruin everyone's day...

When I learned I was drawing Sanctum this weekend, I was a little pumped. The crew behind this one helped James Cameron develop the 3D cameras he used to such great effect in Avatar, and it looks like there may be some awesome visuals in this one as well. If the 3D doesn't look good here, I really am done with it.

The critics on Rotten Tomatoes assure, me, however, that the lame one-liners and hints of a generic plot shown in the trailers are pretty much all this film's got outside of those visuals. I may like it more than them, but I can't give it any less than three beers in good conscience.

Beer Prediction

I'll hedge even further and give it four. Let's hope that it looks good at least.

The Roommate

Oh my. This one will be fun. They really will try to turn just about anything into a teen slasher flick. Remember the one about the killer cell phones?

Don't worry. Nobody does.

Well, don't count on remembering this one past next week unless they achieve something truly terrible. Judging by the hokey, supremely non-scary premise and horror setups, The Roommate has a chance. Oh, and the trailer appears to be suggesting that you should never let anyone into your life, because they might kill you... so there's that.

Beer Prediction

This one has six-pack written all over it.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

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By: Oberst von Berauscht (A Toast)

A Toast

With their near flawless track record, it should come as no surprise that this is not only a fantastic film, but also Pixar Studio’s finest film to date. I must admit, I had reservations about this one from the earliest trailers and even through the glowing critical reviews that led up to its wide release. After all, how many sequels are as good as the original?

Ok, but for the most part, when sequels are made, they tend to be on the lighter side or cash-in titles for the studio to make more money with fewer ideas.

Toy Story 3 picks up approximately eight years after the last installment. Andy is headed to college, and the toys are boxed up and all but forgotten. In Toy Story 2, you might remember that Woody nobly saved Wheezy Penguin from the bargain box. Wheezy is gone now, and many other toys have suffered the garage sale fate. The toys that are left are the ones that Andy feels nostalgic enough to want to hold onto. Through a series of mistakes, Andy’s mom ends up donating the toys to a local day care center.

And of course…

Pixar pulled out all stops to not only make Toy Story 3 feel fresh, but also to make the more familiar elements of the script fit nicely in the new set pieces. And not only that, but they also make it feel essential; it draws the series to a close that brings all characters full circle. I can honestly say this is one of the rarest gems in a film series, a trilogy which ends on the highest note of the series.

I award this film one beer of fine pour, and exceptional quality.

Note:

I did spot a “Zach Moment”* near the end of the film.

(Spoiler alert)

At the end of the film, where the toys are headed for the incinerator, an awesome way to end the movie would have been a fade to black followed by the face of Woody staring up at the sky blankly as the camera zooms out slowly, to reveal that his eyes are all that remain, and you see the melted corpses of all our heroes in a heap at the bottom of the burn pile.

*A “Zach moment” is a time during a film where the filmmakers missed an opportunity to fuck with the audience’s heads. These moments may or may not enhance the viewers’ enjoyment of said sequence.

Verdict

This may be the best in the series, and that’s saying something.

Winter's Bone (2010)

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By: Henry J. Fromage (3 Beers)

A young woman taking care of her family sets out to find out what happened to her meth-cooking father. Pretty much no hilarity ensues.

A Toast

Even the most quality movies about the poor rural Southern white demographic tend to focus on this sort of thing:

I’m hoping that this doesn’t happen too often, and I have to toast Winter’s Bone for shooting a little higher. While life isn’t exactly puppies and rainbows…

Image via flickr by ::reflecting truth::

Wouldn’t it be nice, though

…a more realistic approach is taken by the director and scriptwriter.

The sets and cinematography are great, putting you right inside the world of rural Missouri.

© 2010 bsphotographs.com

Even if you’d prefer not to be

There’s an artistic sensibility, in particular a dream sequence, that opens up the film in an imaginative sense and attempts to connect with the viewer through more than just straight narrative… so a little more legit than just doing this again:

You got yerself thar a purty mouth.

A final shout-out goes to the cast. Newcomer Jennifer Lawrence blows up the screen, reminding me a lot of Ellen Page in her dramatic roles. John Hawke is great as Teardrop, her drug-addicted uncle rediscovering his morality. Oh, and Patty the Daytime Hooker’s in there as well.

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On the flip side, performances are pretty much all that keeps the film afloat. The story isn’t as interesting as it thinks it is, and the novelty of the setting and situation only take you so far. So, if you can’t get any enjoyment out of watching good acting, this might not be your cup of tea.

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This beer goes to the fact that this sort of film has been done before, and better. The setting of the story is original enough, but I can’t help but think of films such as last year’s amazing Ballast or anything Rahmid Bahrani’s done who’ve used the same techniques and style and received one tenth of the recognition thatWinter’s Bone is getting. Good news for the exposure for this type of film, but a bit of a shame for its forerunners.

© 2010 dreamstime.com

A crying shame.

Verdict

Hopefully this one opens up doors for similar filmmakers, and it’s worth a watch for Jennifer Lawrence’s star-making performance alone.