Hello and welcome to MovieBoozer, a movie review blog where we toast all films with a beer or more, if we should need it. I know it's not that difficult, but if you're as wasted as I hope you are then the below guide may prove useful.
MovieBoozer ratings are built around the amount of beers you need to drink to make a particular movie an enjoyable or even survivable experience.
Our ratings always start with a toast, because movies and beers are like "peanut butter and jelly" or "me and your mom" -- they are meant to be enjoyed together. A Toast is the best rating a movie can get.
We add beers as the movie gets crappier and tougher to watch. The beers make this better... hopefully.
The worst possible rating is a six-pack. I know that some of you need more than that to start forgetting things, and some of you start heading for fat chicks* when somebody opens a beer in the room. Adjust accordingly.
If you read this and say, "Hey, I can do that" then send us your best effort to editor@movieboozer.com Make sure to cite the non-publicity and still images you find (if you don't we won't put it up) and you can achieve internet immortality.**
*Fat chicks- You make the world go round. Remember that and be proud.
**May be less than your fifteen minute fame allotment
Legend:
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| A Toast - This is our highest honor. Movies bestowed with this ranking have no need for more alcohol. |
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| 2 Beers - Very good film but fell short just a bit from being a great movie. |
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| 3 Beers - It's a movie that's worth watching but not a must see -- wait for the DVD/Blu-ray. |
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| 4 Beers - Not a good movie but worth renting or watching if you have nothing better to do. |
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| 5 Beers - Probably not worth your time but if you have 5 beers laying around then by all means... |
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| 6 Pack - Our worst honor, a crime against humanity. You might survive this movie. |